Fish Stick in the Swiss Alps

I think this guy would be more interesting than FS

Switzerland was the destination spot for the final three girls to show Fish Stick all they got. To be honest, this episode was not entirely blog-worthy as it was completely predictable. As the dates continued, the connections remain pretty surface level to me, and the good girls keep getting sent home despite warnings of Courtney's foul behavior.

To keep with the Switzerland theme, let's discuss the peaks and valleys of this episode. Since nothing was particularly noteworthy, we must qualify what makes a "Peak" and what makes a "Valley." Peaks = Moments of "really?!" laughter followed by eye-rolling. Valleys = Moments I wanted to turn the TV off. (This may not make a lot of sense, but I am trying to connect to Switzerland, so go with it).

PEAK: Fish stick walked around with thick snow gloves, and the girls kept warm with cotton cardigans. Classic female fashion choice.

Need more sparkly baton and less FS.

VALLEY: Kacie B's return / emotional seizure. Let's discuss. Bless her heart (and I do mean that in the condescending Southern way to really mean, what were you thinking?). Plain and simple, it was wrong of the producers to even allow her to fly out to Switzerland for an explanation. This is a common Bachelor pattern (a wounded contestant's "unexpected" return) but in this case, I don't think it was fair to Fish Stick. Yes, Courtney sucks, but Kacie, GROW A PAIR. He completely dumped you for not just Courtney, but also two other girls, and while you may "love" him, you need to let him dig his own sand hole (in the ocean... because he is a fish... stick... I'm having an off day I think) and if he makes the wrong choice, so be it. The laying on the floor in the hallway of the hotel was beyond dramatic. Breathe Kacie. Go hug your daddy, throw your baton in a parade and remember, he is not worth it. He is a Fish Stick.

PEAK: Ben and Courtney skipping hand-in-hand down the Swiss cobblestone roads. It was nice to finally see a goofy and normal side to her, even though she is a leech sucking the potential for lasting love out of this season one rose at at time.

VALLEY: The cliff metaphors. I am sorry, I love my boyfriend dearly but nothing about being in our relationship is like being on and/or propelling off a cliff. I don't feel utterly euphoric, overlooking the majestic wonders of our future and I also don't feel like not being with him would be equivalent to falling thousands of feet to my untimely death. Really people? REALLY? A much more appropriate metaphor would be "being with Ben is like talking to plant, whose leaves are unfortunately middle-parted and unruly."

Even this 70's throwback look beats flat ironed.

PEAK: The flat-ironed confessionals. I absolutely get a kick out of how the make-up team attempts to flat-iron Ben's hair for his confessionals. We see him in Switzerland with his hair all disheveled. Then, cut to Ben sitting in front of a green screen of roses with stick straight, middle-parted, bowl-shaped, middle school throwback hair. And this is all supposed to be genuine reflections in real time? It's great.

VALLEY: Let's play the game HEY COW! Not only is it a great idea to have a picnic two feet away from cow dung, but let's summon them closer by yelling at them! They are not dogs. They don't even know their name is Cow. Fish Stick and his sister would think this was fun.

PEAK: Courtney's rogue eye-brow hair. Every episode I greatly enjoy just waiting to see if she is going to tame the eye brow hair that seems to want to escape her face by means of her forehead. She is a model right? Of course she is, she tells us every chance she gets. So what magazine is she modeling for exactly? My theory - even her hair wants to run away from her winning personality.

VALLEY: The overuse of the word vulnerable. Lindzi and Ben are confusing "opening up and being vulnerable" with repeating the same conversations they always have, but forgetting they had it due to the out pour of alcohol accompanying every date. In this episode I did not see any real enhanced vulnerability. I saw a girl take her pants off. I think we are confusing the word vulnerable with naked. Because yes, in this episode Lindzi was definitely more naked. Let's also just note that the Swiss Alps were not the only thing "peaking" in this episode.

PEAK: Emily Maynard will be the next Bachelorette and during this episode they featured a very obvious Titanic in 3D promotion and scripted fashion show with Bachelorette alum Ashley and Ali. This brought absolute joy to my heart. It was cheesy (Ashley: "The way Jack looks at Kate is the way JP looks at me" - puke) and wrong. And yet, it was right. Anything featuring scenes from Titanic is right and therefore a peak.

Lindzi. Nicki. Courtney = Vulnerable. Real. Evil.

So as we know from watching the episode (which I hope you have done, otherwise my blogs make no sense since I don't really recap, but rather reflect / judge), Nicki was sent home and was a class act about it. Really proud of her for being strong and consistent. She will look back on all of this and realize that she too deserves better, and there are many more real fish in the sea. Leave our friend Sticks for Courtney.