Trying to understand the fuss over Fish Stick.

The girls scream nothing.

This morning I woke up to a facebook post that said "where is your blog about the Women Tell All." In that moment I felt very special (because when you only have 10 official followers, you start to wonder if anyone even cares), but here is the thing friends. I have no words. I sat back and watched Miss Piggy, a relentless Chihuahua, a Snookie look-alike, among other annoying animal personifications fight like cats and dogs over FISH STICK. And it just left me... uninspired.

Overall, most of these girls are fame whores, who at the same time are still so insanely insecure it's almost embarrassing. The hypocrisy was kind of crazy - they would shout over each other, steal the spot light and demand apologies or validation from the name calling or the comments that each one of them in turn made to each other. Courtney may have been the edited villain, but the rest of them are not saints. If you ask me, Blakeley should have kept her mouth shut about the stripper and hooker comments. I forgot all about them, as I am sure most of the public did. Why remind us? And my goodness, that Chihuahua, Samantha, should have been euthanized. As for Courtney, nothing she said or could have ever said would have been "good enough." The fact she was even there was stupid, and made her look even more pathetic and the other girls look absolutely ruthless. No one came out of that looking desirable or dateable. The only girls on the stage who are real women with brains instead of just severely pushed up boobs are Emily, Kacie B, and Nicki. And yet Emily is the only one who seems to see Fish Stick for what he really is - a complete dud. 

Not "winning" anymore, huh?

One of my best friends from college watches (with his girlfriend, to justify his manhood) and is actually really into this season. I think our G chat the next day summed up how I felt about the show. 

me: I seriously don't know how to blog about last night

9:07 AM I mean...

  they kind of blogged about themselves

  - I feel like they already ripped everything apart enough. What is left to say?

6 minutes

9:14 AM Alexander: I just thought they were all attention whores attempting to capitalize on their last 15 minutes of fameIt was so awful

 me: It really was

9:15 AMProbably not even blog worthy

 Alexander: Jamie was horribly awkward again.... when she rambled for about 30 seconds literally without saying anything of value... only to cap it off with "Ben you know if things don't work out with you and whoever... you know... anytime" and winking at him

 me: I know - the WINKING coupled with the CRYING... what is she thinking?

  and then laughing

  and then crying again

  It was like the side effects of PMS condensed into a 30 second sentence

9:16 AM 

 Alexander: Hah, she is weird

 me: You know she ran for miss New York? Hard to imagine this "seductress" thinks the flying monkey attack coupled with the aftermath come-on is enhancing her image...

 Alexander: I know, and Monika is gross

 me: OMG I KNOW

  The side braid and the orange ummpah - loompah look

 

Alexander: and Jaclyn is the ugliest contestant in history

 me: hahaha - I love how you know all of the girls names. You devoted fan, you.

  Yeah, I call her miss piggy

9:17 AM

 Alexander: Yes, she is miss piggy!

 9:18 AM Alexander: Who was the girl who, after Chris who asked the first question to someone else, she chimed in nastily and you could tell she wanted to expose more drama

  she was blabbermouth

 me: the Chihuahua

  Samantha

  she was OBNOXIOUS

  that voice... oh my god. Nails on a freakin chalk board.

9:19 AM Alexander: yea, at one point she said something like (in a nasty dramatic tone) "I came back to the room and what did you tell me... you said the other girls were being mean to you"

  I was like wow, talk about irony you c---

9:20 AM me: hahahahaha

  I know right

  It was like she was trying to expose crap that was not even remotely relevant

  It was bizarre

9:21 AM Alexander: yea, completely

9:23 AM I am sad that Emily and Nicki were not picked... also, I liked Lindzi from the beginning and you can really tell she is in love with him, she is so cute, so passionate and sincere

5 minutes

9:28 AM me: yeah

9:29 AM she really is sincere, but let's be honest, in a dumb kind of way

   but she is about to have her heart broken

 Alexander: yea, poor thing

9:30 AM Emily said it well though when she explained she is glad she didn't end up with someone who would keep Courtney that long

 

27 minutes

me: Did you think Courtney was genuinely sad?Alexander: I think she was sad yes, but she was clearly trying to repair her image... she screwed up and did it to herself so I do not feel bad for her at all. me: Yeah, looks like she isn't "winning" anymore. Suck it.   [Then we both got back to work like good employees should].

Really?! All of this for this guy?

 I think it's clear who is the comic relief in this post (that boy may care a whole lot about this season of The Bachelor, but he is still much more of a man than Fish Stick will ever be). I promise to deliver a more clever analysis of the final episode, and of course the much anticipated After the Final Rose, but this one simply did not inspire me.

Add that to the fact work has been picking up and I had my orientation to be an official volunteer at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital (more on this later), it has been a busy week!

I now leave you with someone who is much more qualified to comment on this episode. Enjoy this little diddy from your friend and mine.