My life is really exciting. Duh.

 Kelly, the man arms are not cute.

My dream job as a freshman in college was to become the next Kelly Ripa - have my own talk show, live in a penthouse and marry a hot man with a really fun last name, like Consuelos. But now that Kelly's arms are one steroid away from combustion and Regis is no longer her partner in crime, this dream has lost some of its sparkle. Therefore, I recently considered revisiting my runner-up dream job, which is to be an Entertainment Broadcast News Personality, Who Later Appears On Dancing With the Stars. 

I did attempt to pursue this while in school, but my vision was shattered by the realization that: 

1). There are only 10 famous entertainment broadcasters on the big networks and unless I slept with some producers or pulled a Nancy Kerrigan, my shot of getting to the top was highly unlikely, thus significantly decreasing my chance of being B-list enough to be on DWTS. 

2). These same broadcasters all started out their careers busting their butts for years as news anchors for normal-local-boring-boondock-town news stations. I don't watch and/or like the news. So I didn't think that was going to work. 

Symmetrical. And a boob job, no doubt.

3). I don't have the pleasantly symmetrical face and metabolism for the job, and my voice is kind of annoying (I heard it back on my blue tooth the other day and almost said out loud, "hey! who is the nasal betch hacking into my phone call..." Until I realized, oh wait - that betch said what I just said. Oh wait, that betch is me. 

However, in an effort to channel my little girl fantasy of being the next Katie Kouric-Kelly Rippa-Julianne Hough hybrid I would like to tell you about my THRILLING evening last night. Newscaster style.  

Good evening. Welcome to The Most Entertaining News Ever, Tonight.  

First up, some breaking news - Do young people truly have the exciting lives they depict through social media? Recent reports show they absolutely do not. 

One case study revealed that on a hopping Monday evening in Nashville, a woman currently working in church web site marketing (this is me for those of you who don't follow the news well) met with a young undergrad searching for wisdom on the Nashville music industry. After realizing she was highly under qualified to be giving advice, she said some big words and walked away with a free coffee. However, this same woman later tweeted "Had the best night ever helping define a generations career goals. #BeingWiseFeelsGreat."

Using stock photos in an attempt to appear on Pinterest.

Another woman (still me) who hoped her boyfriend would take her out for dinner to celebrate their 9 month love fern and accompany her to a local music spot in midtown was disappointed to instead find out he was sick and needed to stay home. This young woman drove out to Old Hickory - an alternate universe outside of Nashville - picked up some ice cream for the boyfriend and some canned soup for a late dinner. She concluded her night by watching The Bachelor while boyfriend fell asleep on the couch. And yet her facebook status posted at 9:05pm said, "Having the most romantic evening ever with my little sweetie and my favorite chocolate ice cream! The Bachelor has nothing on you babe!" which included a goggled picture of a scoop of ice cream she tried to pass off as her own. 

Why people feel the need to make their lives sound more exciting than they actually are is beyond us here at The Most Entertaining News Ever, Tonight. Perhaps overtime, coolness will actually be based on the "reality" of our real world instead of the "reality" we create via the world wide web. 

Back to you Nancy (O'Dell), this is Jenny Cupero reporting for The Most Entertaining News Ever, Tonight.