Heavy devil cream.

This morning I woke up feeling very strange. I had an awesome weekend, friends are great, life is great... in my mind, there was nothing to merit the heavy, home-sick feeling I had when I woke up to yet another Monday morning. Well... that is until I reminded myself of the two cups of heavy whipping cream Weston and I put into the pasta dinner we cooked last night, and the additional half cup we later poured into the warm pot of melted chocolate chips for our strawberry dessert. Reason for feeling heavy, identified. Subsequently, the cardio machine at the gym: occupied by yours truly at the butt crack of dawn.

Last night, I even expressed to Weston (as I sat practically watching my stomach rise and grow before my eyes like a chia pet) that we should try to substitute the heavy whipping cream for say - half and half, next time. At which point, he went on to try to convince me that it really wasn't that unhealthy of a meal. Um. Please reference the nutrition facts on the left. When I googled this today, I was absolutely mortified. 88 grams of fat in ONE CUP of the cream. Not one gallon. Not one ocean. ONE. CUP. And did I mention for lunch earlier that same day I had three pieces of pizza? Dear gym membership: thank you for giving my obese inner child a decently fit place to live. Dear digestive system: good luck.

If you ask me this nutritional label is as alarming as the following:

1. The warning label on a pack of cigarettes.
2. Sirens whaling down the highway (I am probably inside the ambulance due to cardiac arrest).
3.  MTV's reality programming (yes, "16 and Pregnant" "Jersey Shore" and heavy whipping cream alarm me to a similar degree). Speaking of which - check this out (hilarious)
4. Anthrax and other terrorist-related activity.
5. Finding out Regis is retiring.
6. Justin Bieber cutting his hair.
7. The break-up of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens.
8. Gas prices.
9. The number on the scale the day after consuming 200 grams of fat in heavy cream.
10. Ebola.

I also attribute the heavy cream overdose for my feelings of homesickness. I think my stomach thought it was hibernating for the winter and thus sent "nesting" signals to my brain, creating an emotional reaction, such as, but not limited to, needing a hug from my mom.