Dear Boo, I Love You to the Moon.

Love me some Lynnie Boo.

My beautiful older sister turns 27-years-old today, and I've decided to honor her in a little list I'd like to call:

27 Things The Average Person Doesn't Know About My Sister (and if you do know these things, you're SUPER lucky to have made it into the inner circle - congrats).

1. She is an all-star cheerleader. I know this might come as a surprise if you've ever seen her attempt a cart wheel (look away...) but I've never had a more enthusiastic supporter cheer me on from the sidelines.

2. She is an all-star swimmer. This is legit. She rocked the Newtown High School swim team's 500 event (that is 20 laps betches). Naturally, I ran along the pool screaming at the top of my lungs the entire time. I was less of a cheerleader, more of a loonitic.

3.  She is Barbara Streisand. No one channels Babs like this one when we duet at all major holidays for our family (we are such a blessing to the musical world).

MMMMBop is playing

4. If Taylor Hanson wasn't married and Mormon with 17 children, she would hunt him down  (sorry Justin... the truth hurts).

5. She isn't a huge sweets person. Mostly because I inhale all sugary confections before she has a fighting chance at a bite.

6. She discovered the musical The Scarlett Pimpernel in middle school, and it might have a sweet spot in road trip playlists even today. She also read the book...twice. Now that's a loyal fan.

7. She makes it acceptable to use the word "neat"

We're all in awe of her kitchen talents

8. She is an amazing cook. Which is why I am completely incapable of functioning in the kitchen.

9. She loves cards. The gift could be an 8 million dollar diamond encrusted bra, and it would be a little less special than had you hallmarked her face off.

10. She has the ta-tas in the family (okay fine - you probably already knew that...) This is why I got her an 8 million dollar diamond encrusted bra for her birthday. SURPRISE!

My face is her face but bigger

11. She doesn't need to get a caricature drawn. Instead, we just direct people to look at my face.

12. She had to pretend to play the clarinet in the middle school band. Illusionists around the country were in awe of her raw talent.

13. But she made up for it by knowing the entire Michael Jackson Thriller dance and lyrics at age five.

Nom. Nom. CHEESY RICE.

14. Her go-to late night food is microwaved brown rice with Kraft cheese slices melted over top complimented by potato chips with hot sauce applied individually to each chip at the time of consumption. Yep....

15. She had really frizzy hair growing up.  Frizz-ease products were her crack cocaine.

16. She had a SUPER hot boyfriend in middle school who would write her letters quoting Dawson's Creek. She was SOOO LUCKY! I was SOO jealous.

Justin - WHAT NOT TO GIFT.

17. BUT he dropped off the cool pedestal when he got her a really ghetto cubic zirconia  "LYNN" ring that she didn't have the heart to take back. Do you still have it?!? I'm thinking family heirloom...

Lynnie and Dandy - her first true love

18. She was DEATHLY afraid of dogs as a kid, but had a dog stuffed animal named Dandy she never went anywhere without. Wait, you all probably know that too...Dandy is still very much alive and well.

My cookie is a strange head garb... NBD

19. She is an EXPERT Christmas present wrapper and cookie decorator. We're talking, watch out Martha Stewart! Meanwhile, I'm shoving cookies in my mouth saying "Ain't nobody got time for bows!"

Michael Bolton is playing.

20. She is the only person in the whole wide world who truly gets the sheer perfection of the following:

21. All three High School Musical movies.
22. Michael Bolton - specifically Time, Love and Tenderness.
23. Microwaved brown rice with Kraft cheese slices melted over top complimented by potato chips with hot sauce applied individually to each chip at the time of consumption.
24. Having me for a sister.

That's you holding up my world. Symbolism rocks.

 

25. We both have the same middle name - Bayles - which is just one of the many ways in which we share a soul.

26. She is my better half.  All the things I've become and all the things I've done right is due to the fact she has always been there, holding my hand, cheering me on, and showing me what it means to be awesome.

27. She is boo. Because I am boodle. And that's how we like it.

Happy Birthday my sweet sister. I'm so lucky to have you in my world.