One year later.

Three days ago I was cleaning out my room and I came across my very first diary. The fabric sunflower binding had sporadic entries from 1996 to 2002 - my most pivotal years of adolescence. I read every scribble and irrational complaint with absolute intrigue. It was incredible to be able to have a conversation with my previous self by reading the pages. It helped me to see how much I have grown and still how much of the child in me remains. The little girl in the pages of that diary is my heart beat.

Tonight, I find myself laying in bed watching "Eve's Christmas" on Lifetime (one of my favorite cheesy Christmas movies) just over one year after my last post as The Little London Lady (the blog I kept while studying abroad in London Fall of 2008) wishing there were more pages in that diary to read.

So much has happened this past year - amazing, memorable, challenging, and defining. Many times throughout this year I have wanted to blog certain thoughts, stories, anecdotes and experiences, but the "trouble" of it all overwhelmed me. I usually run from the things I am most passionate about out of fear of failing - be it songwriting, or dancing professionally, or acting. I avoid creative outlets of expression for some reason. Maybe I am afraid of what I will find out. It is so strange - I opt to youtube or watch TV instead of reading a book I know I am going to fall in love with, because that emotional commitment to the plot or in this case, the commitment to emotionally unleash and expose myself is too much. Maybe I am just completely lazy. I am not sure. But what I do know is that this blog is my attempt to be fearless and to allow myself to let it out, whatever "it" is and share it with you - to document the girl I am now so that the girl I will be in the future has a reference to understand exactly where she came from.

I am feeling completely excited about the future and wanting to share it. I have always classified myself as someone who is extremely thoughtful - and not in the hallmark way, but rather meaning that I have a lot of thoughts, some entertaining, some interesting, some not so much. But regardless I want to remember those thoughts and the events that are going to shape my final semester as a student at Elon.
My final chapter of childhood.

The way in which I will always remember London is the way in which I want to remember my everyday life. Because whether backpacking through Europe or tripping over myself in aisle 3 of the grocery store, my life is an adventure and I crave sharing those adventures with others - mostly my aged self 50 years down the road when I cannot remember what I did yesterday let alone when I was a senior in college.

So this is me, beginning a new journey with myself. Rediscovering the love I have for not just writing, but connecting (which is why a diary simply will not do). I hope you enjoy reading and keeping in touch with me through this blog. It may not be the most captivating or compelling read - certainly no Da Vinci Code - but perhaps my reality will provide an escape from yours.

As the movie miraculously wraps up with only seven minutes remaining and a blushing bride rowing down the aisle on a canoe and a wishing star sprinkling fairy dust (or is it snow?) on the happy couple (I kid you not....) so does this entry - the first of many as I begin my very long goodbye with 2009, college, and being a kid.