Is it Friday yet?

You think you have it bad....

Dear Monday,

You're here again, uninvited. You just had to swing back around to remind me just when things were getting fun and relaxing that I am not, in fact, the Princess of Arendelle. I have no magical powers to unfreeze winter and the growing size of my ass from margaritas is not something I can just "let go." Hugs and kisses for that reminder.

As if this reality was not harsh enough, you make me question my moral character. I shamefully admit, as the alarm clock cracks through my Sunday evening slumber to announce your arrival, I make a serious pro-con list in my half-stupor regarding the decision to actually go to work versus fake some kind of womanly issue no one would question just to stay in bed.

• PRO - Stay in bed eating cheetos and watching daytime TV.
• CON - Coworkers think I have womanly issues...
• PRO - Did I mention CHEETOS?
• CON - I have to keep my job to make money to afford CHEETOS. 

That last CON gets me every time.

The bottom line is, unless you are Labor Day, Memorial Day, MLK day or any other major holiday that allows me to stay in bed thus passing the "you suck" torch off to Tuesday, you pretty much blow.

So I would like to make a recommendation that you and treadmills team up and start a club called "Where Fun Goes to Die" and leave the rest of us alone. Because let's get real - the treadmill is totally qualified to join you in this endeavor. The process of stepping on, entering in your weight (rude) and then pressing in the amount of time you plan to run (prance around) working off the (block of) cheese you hastily consumed the day before (for some of you that X is probably something legit like 30 minutes..... let's just say, good for you guys!) is right up there with waking up and realizing it is in fact, Monday and I am not, in fact, a Disney Princess.

Oh, and one more thing. I nominate Winter to be your Vice President. What a persistent and never-ending monster she has been! Please, team up and go find people who enjoy things that suck - they likely work at the DMV.

Thanks in advance for your consideration.