I'm basically an Olympic athlete.

As you all know, I love to eat. A lot. Particularly cheese. Therefore, in an effort to not blow up like a hippo (and not be constipated for the rest of my life) I must work out, and I have to do so in the mornings so that I don't miss happy hour after work - obviously.

With that being said, since starting my new job, I have had to completely up-route my gym routine from my beloved Maryland Farms YMCA amongst the rich soccer mom's and retirees of Brentwood, to the Downtown YMCA, amongst people I don't know, who are ripped and intimidating. TRAUMATIC CHANGE PEOPLE. It has been quite an adjustment, and I have been mentally pro / conning the experience in my head for the past three weeks. Some days I feel like I am cheating on my "first love" with a downtown rebel that excites me. Some days I want nothing more then to enter the oasis of the white plantation-house-looking country-club-style comfort zone and friendship of Maryland farms.

Time to make it real folks, and break this down for you:

Legend: 
MF = Maryland Farms
DT = Downtown
YMCA = Duh

MF YMCA things I miss: 
1. My locker room friends, especially my 75 year old Korean bff, Sunny who was there with me every single morning and cared more about my life than my mom does. That lady is an angel. Dear Sunny - I love you and your miraculously wrinkle-free face and sometimes hard to understand chatter. You are home to me.
2. The most amazing advanced sculpt class on Wed and Fri's at 7am with my Brazilian Goddess of an instructor (I think she was Brazilian - basically what I am getting at here is my fitness routine was a dose of diversity every morning and I liked it).
3. The balanced water pressure in the showers. Nothing like it.
4. The accessible, available and free parking.
5. The extended cable channels on the cardio machines - all the way up through Bravo so I could catch up on Real Housewives. 

MF YMCA things I don't miss:
1. Running into the CEO of my company every morning. It's not personal, but any gym run-in with the boss-man pre-6am is awkward.
2. That sculpt class was a love / hate, so this is the part where I admit, it's been a nice departure from the Brazilian intensity.
3. Having to grab a towel as you walk in the building and carry it around with you all morning because there is no access to them in the locker room. If you strip down in habit, and suddenly realize you forgot a towel - you have to re-clothe, or decide to flash the world and air-dry.
4. Having to always drive by the open "only for senior citizens and mommy's " parking spots just because I wasn't special enough to be with-child or old.
5. Smelling the in-house Subway bread baking in the morning while I am trying to work out. Rude. Bake that crap somewhere else.

DT YMCA things I love:
1. The cardio machines overlook the Nashville skyline. Endorphins skyrocket as my workout playlist (featuring songs from High School Musical) blares in my ears and I overlook my city with pride.
2. They keep the towels in the locker-room - novel idea, eh?
3. They have foaming body wash that rocks. It's really foamy.
4. They have closed door, spacious changing rooms, that are never full. I can spread out my stuff, not be in anyone's way, and not flash the world while changing (not. pretty).
5. They do have some different and challenging group exercise classes like ultimate cardio and awesome abs that have changed up and invigorated my routine.

DT YMCA things I don't love - at all: 
1. When the sun is rising over the Nashville skyline in the mornings, the cardio machine becomes a blinding, hot, torture chamber.
2. The towels may be in the locker room, but they are paper thin and super scratchy, which probably explains why they don't hoard them like precious gold or care if people steal them. I prefer to exfoliate with a lofa in the privacy of my personal shower - not with my towel in a public space. But, it beats air-drying.
3. They do not provide any lotion, shampoo, or other items I sometimes forget, causing me to ask complete strangers for reinforcements, which only further reminds me I have no locker room friends. SLASH - the water pressure is violent and blows the shampoo out of my hair before it even has time to penetrate. I end up peaking my head outside of the shower to lather the soap. I'm THAT girl.
4.  The parking situation sucks and I got a ticket for being literally 12 minutes over the meter last week. Let's discuss this in greater detail - It was  8:12am and I see this flashing cart up ahead, too close to my Bella for comfort. I break out into a Rocky-style run, flailing my arms - "WAAAIIITTTT.... I'M RIIIGHTTT HERE!!!" and she has the audacity to say "Its already written honey, can't do a thing about it."  And hands me the scribbled ticket
Dear Parking Lady: DON'T "HONEY" ME WHEN YOU HAVE CRAPPY NEWS BEOTCH.
(You can pay an extra 8 bucks a month for parking on top of the membership fee, but I refuse when I am going to live super close in no time, and might even just walk there in the mornings... maybe.. maybe not. I am still debating the decision). 
5. The classes that have been "invigorating" my routine start at 6:15am, when I am barely functioning. Dear Instructor: I will do 25 burpies, when you start having classes at 7am. I'm about to burpie (aka throw up) on your face.

Happy exercising-so-you-can-binge-eat-and-feel-justified / poop, friends!