Why the Cheesecake Factory should set up shop in Africa.

Today in my Hungry Girl email newsletter (do not judge me for subscribing to this daily nugget of fun with recipes and tips for eating right - recipes that I never actually make because my stove and I are not on speaking terms) the feature was on a healthier way to make a noodle dish that is on the Cheesecake Factory menu (see below) - 

Team Tragic (From: http://www.hungry-girl.com - which they might as well rename jenny.com.)

My commentary is in bold.

This is the kind of meal that makes us flat-out ANGRY. Me too seeing as I am blogging about it. 

Say you go to The Cheesecake Factory with a group and try to find SOMETHING on the menu that isn't loaded with oil, cream, and cheese (or cake). This is so something I would do - I always TRY to order something healthy and go back and forth internally stressing out.

You spot this innocently titled item described as "Spaghettini, fresh asparagus, shiitake mushrooms, oven-roasted tomatoes and Parmesan in a delicious garlic sauce." And look, you can add chicken or shrimp! Seems like a smart choice, right? Yes it absolutely does Hungry girl, thanks for asking. 

Sadly, it's not. We have SO many problems with CF's Garlic Noodles with Chicken. Tell me more. 

For starters, the dish has about as many calories as the average person needs in a whole day. Jaw. Dropped. Plus, there's way too much pasta, and it's INSANELY oily! And while we're complaining, there weren't nearly enough veggies in the order we sampled, and the chicken was sparse and scary looking. We could go on and on.  Cheesecake Factory -- you're doing it wrong. Take notes.

Serving Size: 1 dinner order
Calories: 1,973 MIND BLOWN. Do you realize how many workouts that is?
Fat (Total): n.a.
Saturated Fat: 25g
Sodium: 2,353mg
Carbs: 182g Dr. Atkins, creator of the Atkins diet, is rolling in his grave. Is he dead yet from turning into a piece of meat? Not sure. If not - he just had a stroke after reading this.
Fiber: n.a.
Sugars: n.a.
Protein: n.a.

Wowsies. That is so absolutely insane. Which is why eating healthy in our culture is so stressful! It is one thing if you go to a drive through and you order a pound of fried fat (otherwise known as the Burger King Baconator) but it is truly another when you try to make a healthy choice and cheesecake factory says "screw you." The Deception Factory is what I am now calling this place because Cheese is too sacred of a word to be associated with a menu where diets go to DIE. (Now I realize that cheese is not necessarily good for you, but it is good for your soul, so it is excused). 

This is exactly why I think Cheesecake Factory needs to have some social responsibility and ship its food out to the many villages with starving people in Africa, because clearly one of those dishes can take a village from famished to fat.