Epical.

Remember me? I know it has been a while. First and foremost, check out this web site we just launched today and you will understand when you page through how amazing it is as to why I was extremely busy at work last week executing the big reveal. This site has been my baby for the past few months, and I am really proud of the entire team.

With that being said, I have been more "lost" than "found" on here because I have been completely swamped and thus wanting nothing to do with a computer after work hours. But trust me, I do realize that if I intend to ever have a real following I am going to have to actually update my blog. But sometimes I don't feel motivated because I am pretty sure my following is like - ten people. But for you ten, I get it - my absence is boring, and I can relate. There is nothing that bugs me more than clicking on some of my favorite blogs and re-reading the same static entry I have read three or four times over in an attempt to unearth something new just to put off the next thing on my to do list.

One of my absolute favorite blogs, which I highly recommend is the MODG blog. She is a brilliantly hilarious new mom who says exactly what is on her mind, but she needs to get some sleep and start updating more or I am going to trade her in permanently for Style Me Pretty even though it sometimes makes me feel pathetic for living vicariously through complete stranger's fairy tale weddings. Anyways... I digress. Back to MY blog. You know, the one you are reading right now.

So problem identified - I need followers. (Mom, I love you, but you kind of don't count). So how to make that happen, you ask? Well, one of my awesomely hilarious friends is always looking for way to make money through the internet, particularly fascinated with how people can make money through blogging. He says there are a couple of key rules to gaining followers and in turn, becoming popular enough to merit advertising which is what makes the big bucks.  
And I have realized I do none of these things:

1. Find a niche - write about something interesting and different with a lot of visuals, because just like toddlers, readers like pictures. I babble and paste in generic google images, and thus have no niche.

2. Write consistently. Um.....

3. Solicit your face off without shame. Listen, I am all for sharing with friends and family, and even strangers - they don't actually know me, so whatever. But something about pasting this all over my facebook feels wrong. Not quite sure I want that evil chick from middle school who friended me simply to page through my pics and see if I got fat in college to get all click happy and end up reading my word vomit. Or, better yet, the guy I just met who wants to date my internet identity before actually asking me out - the real human being - (this is what we have come to....). This lack of control makes me very nervous.

See. Generic. Thank you google.

But I am determined at some point in my life to do all three of those things, and well... become really famous. And today I got one step closer to that goal.

At the end of the day I was having one of my usual banters with this same awesome friend who is sweetly oblivious to some of the normal activities of being in your 20's (and pretty much pop culture in general) and thus thinks I have a really exciting life. He asked me about my weekend and when I told him I attended Tim McGraw's sister's bday party (no, sadly Tim was not there), his face lit up with interest as I bragged about how "epic" it was - a word I throw around a lot to make myself feel a little more... well... famous....

It was then that we had our epiphany and came up with a word, and in turn, the domain name of my yet-to-be-famous blog. Yes, together we invented the word "Epical" - which is his way of describing my life -  Epic yet typical, because the "Epic" happens so often it has become routine.

Epic + Typical = Epical. 

(Let me follow this up by saying my life is not all that epic, as I am sure you have determined via this blog. To put this into perspective, this dear thought my client's name was Lola when I said "Whatever Lola Wants," and didn't know what the word "Beotch" means).

So we officially coined the term Epical, and much like how I imagine the creators of "Branglina," or "totes" felt, we felt absolutely brilliant. But then we googled it and realized it was a real word meaning constituting or having to do with or suggestive of a literary "epic tradition." Frown face. So we pretended the past 35 seconds didn't happen and we didn't consult Webster, which restored our joy and overall feelings of awesomeness. On the brink of magic, we immediately checked to see if Epical.com was taken because that is the url he thought would be most appropriate to exploit my rants to make money (I agreed with this, and also agreed that he will get half of our profit for being my inspiration).

One problem. Epical.com was taken.  What the crap is that? That is barely a website. That is like a bizarre list of generic crap that for a second makes you think the url is not taken. Thus, we are pretty sure we can write a strongly worded letter and steal back the domain name. And if we make that huge effort and Epical.com is ours, I am going to have to find the time to find a niche, update more and solicit myself. And probably do some cool things that I can actually write about so that I am not trying to interest you by writing about what I should write about that would actually be interesting. Do you follow? Gosh, this is turning into a lot of pressure.

That is me. The author of Epical.com.

The real truth is, I figure if I do this, and I become famous, then maybe I can be on Dancing With the Stars.




Busted.