A new curse word trends across the nation: "Compromise."

This is worse than Fish Stick's hair. Which is saying a lot.

I capped off an amazing beach weekend (a new post to come on that tomorrow) with the only program that could have fought off the Post Beach Depression - The Bachelorette. In an Emily world, this morning would have also been rosy, as I would have been greeted looking naturally stunning by a calorie-free breakfast in bed made by my mama. Needless to say, my world, is not an Emily world - I woke up looking like hell woofing through my spin class to fight off the 15 donuts I had this past weekend from the amazing donut crack shack, Britts Donuts - more on all of this later.

There were a lot of memorable moments and observations from last night's show. The first that comes to mind is the unique haircuts adorned by some of these guys. Ryan has rooster hair (and by the way - is becoming more and more of a douche bag with every date). Pony Tail dude - which is what I have named him since I don't know his name and I have not seen him speak one word since his initial introduction - wears a pony tail. And let's not forget the muffled-hybrid-accent tool bag Alessandro who looks like he tried to mimic the 90's boy-band trend using petroleum jelly and a cereal bowl.

Emily: I might throw up on you in a minute.

Emily's date with Chris certainly had some highlights. He was very "excited," which must explain why he used that word about 15 times on their awkward "small talk" stroll to the large building they were about to climb. Yes, I'm sure "Emily looks amazing in a harness." The camel toe crotch and look of fear is very becoming. Not to mention, this guy must have a spiderman fantasy to think scaling a wall in a thunderstorm and watching a woman become petrified is hot. Forget a kiss, he was just lucky she didn't vomit at the top, is all I'm saying.

The date ended with Chris's more attractive twin brother Luke Bryan making his speakers go "boom boom" and then finishing the night off serenading the couple with a break-up song about love gone crusty. A perfect melody to form their "truly meaningful connection" to. And let's please not forget the entrance of the bizarrely timed "flash mob" of rhythmically challenged dancers joining in. It was the most "romantic date in all of bachelor history..." Almost as romantic as Tony's time with Kermit last week.

"Do you miss daddy waddy too buddy boo boo?!" Son: No.

Speaking of Tony. Sweet, sweet, cry baby Tony. Emily sure found an "honorable" out with that one. Tony was not getting a rose that night regardless, but she played the "I'm a mommy too" card so well that I am not sure he actually knew he was being dumped. Suddenly she is walking him out, and he is slightly confused, but at the same time, just thrilled to be able to use his baby voice all the time once reunited with his son. Well played, Emily.

Back-tracking to the guys meeting Emily's friends in the park, we finally started to see some true colors peak from the prince charming facades. Ryan (rooster hair) is such a chauvinistic show-off. Not a fan. Note to all men: do not, under any circumstances tell a woman you are trying to court that you will love her less if she let's herself go and gets fat. In fact, don't tell any woman on the planet that. Ever.

Having Emily's friends grill the guys was an interesting twist, except that I'm not sure Emily thought her friends would be coming onto the guys at the same time - that Wendy was frisky and freaky. I will say, I fell in love with Sean during this date. He is now one of my top runners for the win. Genuine, kind, sweet, faithful and a p90x body. Love him.

Me and Weston in Dollywood.

Emily's date with Arie in Dollywood immediately made me turn to Weston and beg him to go there with me. It looks very magical. Weston laughed at me. Anyways, I digress - Arie is the perfect mix of good looks, sophistication and understated charm. Their date felt natural and organic, their slow dance music by Dolly was appropriately romantic and lacking "boom boom." I really liked how he actually questioned her on what happened with Brad (about time some real conversations were had). He says everything right without being a show off, but I can't shake the feeling that something is off (and I don't just mean with his un-whitened teeth). Serious relationship with a woman with two kids sits a little funny... I cannot put my finger on it, but I feel like Arie might have a secret... something is too good to be true. 

Booted before he could bust out the Cha Cha slide. Sad.

And of course - the rose ceremony. Never before has the word "compromise" been used so often as a way of saying "f*ck you" in a conversation - yes, Alessandro - the 90's-hair-wannabe, creepy-accent, grain merchant needed to go.

But what made me mad was that Kalon also should have been kicked out by the same principle when he told Emily to stop talking and that he wanted his first child to be his own. He seems like a sociopath. Not sure why Emily kept him around - maybe she wanted to borrow his lip smackers for one more week.

I loved the sweet moment between Arie and Emily when she needed some consoling and I cannot wait for Ryan to bury himself next week with his immature and macho reaction to seeing them kiss. Dear Rooster - have you not watched this show before? People kiss. Get over it.

Eggs were smashed, Alejandro was saved for multi-cultural purposes yet again, and the jumping bean Stevie got the axe. [Side note - the way Emily asks if the guys will "accept this rose" is weird. And the way she says "Charlie." Listen for it. It's a little "princess robot" if you ask me].

My front runners are Sean, Arie and Jef (despite my dislike for the one "f") - which is a true guess since for the first time in Bachelor history I promised Weston I would not read Reality Steve so "we could be surprised" (his shared love [which he would probably consider more a "compromise"] of this series is a big part of why I love him. I'm sure the Emily eye-candy helps to tune him in too).

Until next week friends...