Reasons I don't tweet.

Twitter is a social media phenomenon some would call revolutionary because it gives people's random thoughts an outlet to be shared with the world. If those thoughts are interesting, noteworthy, or funny - I agree, this can be an entertaining and informative platform. But I pretty much can't recall the last time I even went on twitter, let alone posted anything... In fact, once I even accidentally said "pound" instead of "hashtag" in everyday conversation as an attempt to be cool and "with the times." Epic fail.

So I decided to check out my account to see what I have ever tweeted and I remembered, the spring before 2009, I actually tweeted quite a bit after I was asked to provide my handle (which I had to consult Jordan to confirm I was using this term correctly) on my CMT internship application. So, in looking back I found these little gems circa the college years....where all I did apparently was wish and complain the stupidest crap I have ever read, all while trying to "discretely" woo CMT with my apparent loyalty to the station...:

26 May 09

I need Jon and Kate + 8 to kiss and make up. I am sad. Thankfully to get me out of my funk all I have to do is think about how much I love CMT. 

AKA - I am a compassionate human who takes pity on parents with exorbitant amounts of children, and I love CMT... what?! Super related stuff here...

12 May 09 

socks are soaked from walking through the soaked grass and had on 3 layers to open the gym at 5:45 am..what season are we in.... seriously?

AKA - I have a campus job therefore I am super hard working and I get up early / let's see how many times I can say soaked in a sentence.

  

2 Apr 09

with all the fog I feel like I am in Twilight, minus my hot vampire of course. 

AKA - I'm clever because I am blending a pop culture phenomenon with the weather all while letting you know - Hey, I'm not held back by a real boyfriend, therefore I'm very willing to relocate to Nashville. 

30 Mar 09

watching the tail end of one tree hill and wishing peyton and lucas would have a cute scene together :)

AKA - I have no love life and therefore live vicariously through CW soap operas. Oh! And - CW is sort of like CMT if you take away the "W" and add a "MT". Boom - Related.

 

30 Mar 09 

waiting for the live oak meeting to start and wishing I was back on the beach with no worries....

AKA - I'm in the student PR agency and I attend important meetings that require me to worry because I care. CMT - Seriously. HIRE ME.  

  

30 Mar 09 

missing the Greek marathon because I am sitting in class..... ugh.....

AKA - I don't skip class. I just tweet through it... CMT PLEASEEEEEE........

  

29 Mar 09 

watching high school musical and missing the nostalgic days of high school when none of that stuff actually happened to me 

AKA - I am super musical just like you, CMT, and even though I was always in the ensemble, I can sing and dance with jazz hands. Talk about well-rounded. 

29 Mar 09 

I want my hair to grow out.... I wish hair grew faster. 

AKA - No idea. None. I must have blacked out.

Who am I?!?! And why did I think any of that was worth broadcasting.....The only tweet I am proud of is this one:

29 Mar 09

Nashville.... it's really good to finally meet you.

Okay.. that was semi-normal and relative.... At this point I clearly wooed CMT with my previous posts since I was in Nashville about to start my internship. Maybe after this is when I get cool?....

Nope -  

 

1 Jun 09

why am I resisting sleep... I cannot keep my eyes open but something in me does not want to slip into tomorrow yet. please let me dream. 

AKA - Attempting to be poetic and failing. #WTFamItalkingabout?

 UGH - DELETE. MAKE IT GO AWAY....

I think what we can deduce from this is that I am a long-winded human who needs more than 140 characters to sound remotely intelligent and interesting.

And this my friends, is why I don't tweet.