What had happened was, I WAS BORN.

I have the same look on my face right now.

Happy Thursday everyone! Peace be with you! Joy to all the world! Oh happy, happy day!

Why all the elation? Well, guess what?! I know this has been a huge, big secret because I am naturally cool, calm and discrete about all self-centric moments in life (I'm just really shy and quiet like that) but today is MY BIRTHDAY. Yes, friends! Today I am officially in my mid-twenties. And you know what? - It feels amazeballs.

I will now elaborate in a little list I'd like to call:
Reasons Why Being Born Is Even More Awesome Than Cheese

1. This is the only day when spam email from retailers and restaurants actually contains something personal and exciting - like discounts and FREE BROWNIES.

Get in my belly.

2. Your Facebook page morphs into a ode to how awesome you are. (You also become distinctly aware of how many "friends" you have, even if you haven't heard from them since this day last year).

3. You get to feel for one day what it must feel like to be Celine Dion (enter your favorite celebrity) every day.

Not much has changed.

4. You have a perfectly acceptable reason to over-indulge in the following without judgement: sweets, cheese, wine, karaoke, selifes, procrastination of all things work-related, tap dances, cake, fashion, massages, sprinkles, glitter, confetti, jazz hands... basically, all things you would find at a gay bar.

5. You can subject your friends to things they may not have chosen to do if it wasn't your birthday. Such as: requesting their presence in pajamas as they witness you inhale a bottomless glass of wine and lose your shit throughout the live telecast of Carrie Underwood starring in the musical production of The Sound of Music (it is like NBC knew this was the day of my birth). 

[Let's get real here. This was a list developed around a loop hole. You see, you can't eat cheese without being born so THAT is the only real reason why being born is more awesome than cheese - being born allows you to consume cheese. And you know what time it is? CHEESE TIME BETCHES.]