Things That Are Awkward: On a date

I personally think I encounter many awkward situations at times. I am either way too aware of situations that are awkward, further adding to the awkwardness, or I have this keen ability to make things just a little more awkward than they actually are in my head. No, I am not Kristin Stewart awkward by any means - that girl is going to pee her pants in fear when simply asked her last name. But things pop up, and I feel awkward, and I need to talk about it.

Disclaimer: In these entries, I am referring more to new people, not my family and close friends, but overall I find that awkward situations surround me on a daily basis, which is probably God's way of telling me to lighten up and stop trying to be so perfect - That things are not rehearsed in life for a reason. I should learn to expect the unexpected and be comfortable enough with myself to be comfortable with other people, regardless of how awkward things might be... Yeah. That sounds nice in theory...

So in an attempt to break the "awkward spell" here is a list of some of the top awkward things I encounter in my life, starting with awkward moments on a date:

1. Awkward silence: I am not sure why I am so afraid of this, but it kills me. Sitting there just waiting for him to say something or trying to think of something to say myself - it puts me into a mini panic. Hopefully it comes naturally, but often a first date is nerve wrecking. And it all starts with the phone call - if they even call you (see #2). You can't tell if you are about to interrupt or see their face at all to determine their reaction. And in my attempt to avoid silence, I giggle.. after everything I say, for no reason. I am not THAT funny... and then sometimes I talk too much... way too much, and suddenly I have complete and utter babble syndrome where I think by continuing to speak I am going to turn the "awkward" corner and circle back to actually making sense or saying something charming and witty. I have come to find that never actually happens. So either I am giggling or I talk too much or I talk over the other person by accident due to the pure excitement that I actually have a response to what they are saying, when all I really need to do is SHUT UP. There is a happy balance I am hoping to achieve. I think it starts with a Valium.

2. The many forms of communication: In the film, "He's Just Not That Into You," Drew Barrymore pins the tail on the donkey with this one (I probably should have said "hit's the nail on the head..." but the donkey works too... just go with it). Between emails, tweets, wall posts, messages, and texting - GAH TEXTING DRIVES ME NUTS - NO! I do NOT want to tell you my life story via text. Where to meet, or "thinking of you" is great, but all of these "get to know you" text conversations are going to give me carpel tunnel syndrome. If you want to get to know me - CALL ME LIKE A MAN. And I might giggle and ramble, but that is who I am. For the love.... I seriously think that social networking is making people shy away from being able to actually communication face to face (enter the awkward silence.. do you see the awkward silence drives the whole thing...). And you would think I would therefore enjoy texting to avoid silence, but really, you are never going to get comfortable with someone when you can spell check and analyze every word. If we were all just cool with being ourselves it would cut the crap out of "finding the one," don't you think?

3. Getting there: If I am meeting you there, where am I going? - and we all know this is a daily stress for me seeing as I am directionally challenged. And will I be able to park for free? Parking also stresses me out. And if you are picking me up, I don't know you that well. When I get in your car, please drive like a normal human being. Precious cargo. Enough said.

4. Ordering: This is really a thinker. You have to consider so many things. You aren't always sure who is picking up the tab and if he is a gentlemen and he does pay, you certainly don't want to be too presumptuous and feel like you are clearing his bank account. You also want to make sure you are not eating something that can get too messy and on top of that, there is the consideration that, if you are anything like me, the water alone might make you have to pee every five minutes. It can be easy, but it can also be a little bit awkward.

5. The payment: Let's be honest ladies, on a date, you don't actually expect to pay. I mean the whole "dutch thing" is a great concept maybe a few dates down the road, but if a gentleman asks you out, you kind of assume chivalry is not dead and he will treat. But when the check comes and just sits there (enter the awkward silence) what do you do? It is like that little black book is staring at you both, and you know you should offer, but you don't want him to think you are insistent in the name of equality and girl power. So then you offer anyways and then he hesitates and you go back and forth and it is like... can't there just be a real official rule book for these things?

Speaking of getting there... I actually have a date tonight to get to. Let's see how this one goes. Deep breath. In and out. Don't talk to much. Only laugh when things are funny. Offer to pay with confidence and let it happen when he insists...

Oh the joys of dating.